The Modern Day Bully

October 18, 2009 at 12:18 pm (Uncategorized)

The modern workplace bully is probably more dangerous now than ever. Used to be the tough guy who commands the most would win. Now it’s the the quiet ones you need to watch that slip under the radar.

Speaking from experience, there are 4 types of personalities…
  1. There’s the extrovert really out there, says what they feel each time every time. A person who doesn’t listen to what anyone else has to say and is usually pretty aggressive.
  2. There’s the extrovert with a bit of introvert… Who listens and will flex a bit. Who is still outspoken but can bounce depending on what they face.
  3. There’s the introvert with extroverted skills. They are generally quiet, but when push comes to shove. They will speak out against whomever.
  4. The introvert is the one to watch for. Is generally quiet. Eyes and ears are everywhere… and will do everything in their power to bring someone down using every avenue but direct contact with whomever they are having a problem with.
On this level, I am the introverted type myself. However, my experiences and level of professional skills where I am currently working don’t need to bring me to take anyone down. If I am dissatisfied with someone, I bitch about it, and adjust myself according to their level of skills. If I have to step up further, I will and I make sure I get recognized instead of people feeling whomever dropped the ball fixed something up.
My friend is still pondering their decision to stay and fight out the situation, or just give up the hope of change and walk. If he walks, the group of people who don’t consider his job expectations and tools required to do the job will have forced him out… only to get back another person who is very much like my friend because the job requires them to have time management and scheduling deadlines.
Does he want to stay and fight the fight? Will the fight be worth it? Reality is… he’s dealing with people who are not outspoken who muddle together quietly. In a business where everything has to be scheduled, the majority of the people will not, and refuse to schedule. Most are all last minute planners… My friend is not in that group. If I were to describe my friend right now, the workplace employees has formed a circle and he’s outside of it. Because the majority are doing the same thing… flying by the seat of their pants. For them and their part of the job, it works… however, they have little consideration for fellow colleagues such as my friend who doesn’t have the same privilege. It’s probably the reason why many of my friend’s type of field are run out of churches.
In my job, I must plan ahead and stick to a schedule. CHRIST… I am in Logistics of time management… I make my job look easy because I am confined within time restrictions. Come see my computer at work and watch the many notifications go off during my shift to ensure I have everything done on time, each time, EVERY TIME.
EVERYONE I work with is on the same time restrictions… including my own drivers… IF YOU DONT PLAN AHEAD,,, GUESS WHAT… you won’t fit in and will be job hunting in no time.
So does my friend fight what appears to be cold and non appreciative employees who don’t realize their own performance effects another so profoundly… after all, we all know what happens to work places like this… they fail.

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Saying ENOUGH and Now The Detour

October 13, 2009 at 2:14 pm (Uncategorized)

My Friend has been down the same road for 12 years and now has hit the detour sign… continue along the same road where there is no end in site…

It’s now time to make that decision… in my last post… I mentioned how this person’s belief system is in question with themselves, with whom play in the religion arena and what does both of these do for themselves personally.
Realistically, this person is in a dying faith system… few people want to be told what to do using an ancient belief system that the majority of us can’t find a way to see how it applies to us in today’s modern society. Many of the old teachings are contradictory to the way we see life. In many aspects, the ancient bible is filled with personal wars, hate, and barbaric practices of sacrifice and more. Some of us, hold steady to this book of teachings, and yet when you truly look at the stories, we don’t hear or see the story of the abused, but see the positive when people are converted to the religion… but at what costs?
It’s probably the reason why the majority are now nearly 50 years old or higher… they have been in the religion long enough that they are comfortable… However, I think it’s the younger generation who has learned to question things… in these questions… we are told not to question… JUST DO! Many of us have a problem with that, so we avoid the religions as a way of exercising personal choices.
So of course, I support my friend 100% to the decision they make today or tomorrow. The decision they will make will effect them for the rest of their life. It has to be a careful decision. However, why pretend to be something you are not. This person forced to accept communion to show a role leadership in a religion. Forced to play happy family when it’s nothing but people trying to fight to stay above the water. Being criticized for lack of this and that, when it wasn’t them who should have been criticized for those arguments.
Reality is… you can’t change people… you can only change yourself… everyone is replaceable. You may be missed, but life will continue along with you becoming a historical figure in a place. Sure people miss you, but they will get on with it quicker than anyone cares to admit.
I think the choice is clear, though this person’s future is not… However, it’s time for this person to regroup themselves, career change and feel the excitement of something new…
LIFE WILL GO FORWARD and so does my friend… Here’s the fork in the road… keep going down the road that is broken… or jump off and see where the next road will go!

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Shaking Head In Disbelief

October 4, 2009 at 7:44 pm (Uncategorized)

I know someone whom is struggling in the religious arena… ARENA? Yes.. ARENA… It’s anything but organized to a level that everyone receives humane treatment. BUT WAIT… it’s supposed to be humane and offer assistance to those who are struggling in many different capacities which may include financial, medical, food, and mental issues. But it eats their own till there is nothing left… in some cases, until you conform 100% and stop being a free thinking individual, you will never be considered equal.
Why is it that someone who is deeply involved in religion can be torn to a degree of absolute frustration with whom is approaching them and quoting the word of GOD but seems to be having their own agenda in playing in the Arena?
The more I think about it, the more frustrated I am with it. It appears and is taught that only GOOD DOERS are religious in nature… Who is quoting GOD more is the more right person in a conversation. WHO appears to be doing heavenly work is the person who needs the protection. Yesterday, I was walking a cart back to the grocery store cart depot. I offered the neighbouring car to take theirs back at the same time… I felt good that I helped someone… and I did that without a religious context… I was just being humane.
What is clear… that people misuse and abuse the religious arenas. YES, I have a family member I know that uses Church as the escape to solve issues. When life is good, you don’t see them go near it… but they have learned that playing Church and bible studies gets them the help (Financially or Donations) to get by… IS THIS WRONG… or JUST SMART THINKING?
The problem with churches is that it needs to be run like a business. There are financial obligations that need to be met. The same business rules apply to those who are working directly for the church. WAIT THOUGH… If I throw in a PEACE in an email as part of my signature, does it mean I mean it… or is just there because I programmed it to be?
Churches, in some cases, allows the unable to be fully able and use the power of God’s word to manipulate others to believing a false reality.
So what should my friend do… continue to be frustrated in an arena where the free thinker will be eaten alive. Should they fake the PEACES in emails and talk about how much they love Jesus to be considered as important as the rest. Or should they just throw in the towel and say… this monster is too big to overcome?
But I do ask you a question… MOST CHURCHES, the demographics are nearly 50+ years or older… why is that? Has the younger generation learn to think for themselves? Does the younger generation see the manipulation in full swing? Or have I just been around the wrong area? THE WRONG AREA wouldn’t be suffice because emails are received all around the world quoting jesus against my lifestyle… Quoting a man I can’t ask for myself… I find that convenient… asking into midair and hearing back my own thoughts or moral compass to speak.
I feel in despair seeking an answer that I don’t feel can be answered… For that… makes me feel helpless… and my friend remains lost trying to figure if their belief system is in question…
I struggle.

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