Sadness Within

I launched a blog this morning about my experience with being told NO and someone missing opportunity. It is posted right before this blog entry if you are interested.

I contacted my mentor after I posted the last blog and, of course, he is super with encouragement. What is remarkable ladies and gentlemen is that he is in his 50’s and so open minded to marketing and strategic ideas. For myself, he is probably the 2nd Most Creative person I know. Diva Dan, of course, being first.
In his lovely letter in return, he reminded me that the guy might have been homophobic and concerned about the image of the business if I put a name on it. I kind of brushed off the comment when I read it thinking that is kind of a bull—- reason to say no.
I was just talking with Diva Dan about the idea of whether it truly was a NO because of the person I am. Diva Dan says more than likely it was. No OFFENCE but it’s still not cool. In my redneck wasp-ee area, it is still a hurdle that people have not encountered.
Living in my skin now, I have been out of the closet for 8 years. For me… I don’t see it as a problem anymore. I used to believe at one point that people were ashamed of who I was. Looking at me with judging eyes and so forth. I’ve gotten past that point.
Diva Dan is the first guy I have ever been with where it feels normal to be the person I am. WHY IS THAT? It’s probably because he makes me feel good to be open and honest with what I represent as a person. Man oh man, I sound like I have a disease.
My argument back to Diva Dan is why would the guy say NO because of my sexuality. Most people get the fact the top designers and public faces in decorating, makeovers, and crafty ideas where men are the feature tend to be gay. Are you saying that the society doesn’t like it… HOW CAN THAT BE… You don’t get prime time television if the public doesn’t want it. Something’s a miss here.
So if the guy said NO due to my sexual orientation… than sobeit. I’m not the one who has a business riding on feeding my family. He should have taken the opportunity, after all, it was free for him to accept.
As far as people identifying that I am gay. I proudly wear a rainbow pin on my winter coat, jacket and other stuff that NEVER COMES OFF! WHY? Because it’s taken me a long time to be happy. A long time to adjust. A long time to feel normal is a screwed up society… that the rainbow is a symbol of MYSELF FINDING MYSELF!

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